So blogger updated to a new interface. Apparently, the last time i updated was November 2011. Has it really been that long?! GOSH!

See, I should really be doing work right now, it is the time of the year again that we have to do the very inconvenient ritual once again: Exam. Yeap, 27 days and counting. First paper on a Monday and second paper on the Tuesday. Great, just great. Though I have no complains, since the paper which I thought was toughest is gonna be the last paper and I have almost 2 weeks to study it. :) That is enough update of my life for now, the rest is pretty boring so I won't even try to bore y'all with the details. Basically, work, uni, study, sleep, eat, toilet etc. Officially banned myself from facebook since 2 days ago. But lets not linger and move on to the main reason of me writing this post. Since I am clearly behind schedule for reports and loads more to study in such short time period.

I have a sudden realization. I WANT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. *whatever that means* See, as for a girl, one day will become a woman which will have family and children as top-most priorities. Of course, there are exceptions where women who are career oriented and not so much of a family person, you would prefer to climb up the ladder of success (in terms of career). For now, I see myself as the former. The catch is, nobody ever tells you what comes before. I have no idea what should come before. So for now, what should I be doing to be "living life to the fullest"?

I often ask myself, how would things be different if i was born richer. Would things really be different? What kind of life would I have led? Yes I can do more things, spend more time on possibly more useful things than to be in transport for almost 3 hours almost everyday of the week. But really, what difference does it make? If I could buy certain things which I do not have at the moment, given my financial strain, would I be happier? Or could I infer from that, that I am living "the life"?

I was asked if I can build a time machine to allow my friend to use it. To go back in time, to change things that could have been. If i really do have the power, money and intelligence to make such a machine, and let characters of people don't change across a different dimension, that I would actually.... lend my friend my machine, how many times does he/she has to use it before he/she can be fully satisfied? Honestly, I don't think that can be magnitude of a finite number.

What I am trying to say is that: Man has greed. *woman too btw Joel, if you are going to debate with me what "man" actually means* Everyone has a part of life which they aren't happy with and try to change it. I am exhibit A and I want to change my life desperately. Not knowing where to start.

Having my thought spin in circles like this, many of the things I learnt when I was younger resurface. All things under the sun are dung and will one day pass away, all are vanity of vanities. If I try to uplift myself, it will only benefit myself and will be count as loss. If I live my life to glorify God, things will be different. Be salty, because what use is there for salt if it had lost its saltiness. We are here to make an impact. To serve and to love, because it is the most powerful tool one can have. To love. :)

My prayer: Lord, please remind me again and again to humble myself, and to give you the glory, because you alone are worthy. Teach me to be grateful with what I have because you have planned and prepared all that I have. Thank you for the beautiful family you have placed me into and thank you for all the hurt and happiness that I had gone through with you every step of the way. Lord, I want to consecrate myself again to you. Please keep my heart, set me as a seal upon your heart. Make known to me what you have in store for me and show me Lord, what I should do in every situation. Guide me, so that I will not run astray. Set me on the path of righteousness and living in your house all the days of my life. Lord, I love you, teach me to count my days.