So blogger updated to a new interface. Apparently, the last time i updated was November 2011. Has it really been that long?! GOSH!

See, I should really be doing work right now, it is the time of the year again that we have to do the very inconvenient ritual once again: Exam. Yeap, 27 days and counting. First paper on a Monday and second paper on the Tuesday. Great, just great. Though I have no complains, since the paper which I thought was toughest is gonna be the last paper and I have almost 2 weeks to study it. :) That is enough update of my life for now, the rest is pretty boring so I won't even try to bore y'all with the details. Basically, work, uni, study, sleep, eat, toilet etc. Officially banned myself from facebook since 2 days ago. But lets not linger and move on to the main reason of me writing this post. Since I am clearly behind schedule for reports and loads more to study in such short time period.

I have a sudden realization. I WANT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. *whatever that means* See, as for a girl, one day will become a woman which will have family and children as top-most priorities. Of course, there are exceptions where women who are career oriented and not so much of a family person, you would prefer to climb up the ladder of success (in terms of career). For now, I see myself as the former. The catch is, nobody ever tells you what comes before. I have no idea what should come before. So for now, what should I be doing to be "living life to the fullest"?

I often ask myself, how would things be different if i was born richer. Would things really be different? What kind of life would I have led? Yes I can do more things, spend more time on possibly more useful things than to be in transport for almost 3 hours almost everyday of the week. But really, what difference does it make? If I could buy certain things which I do not have at the moment, given my financial strain, would I be happier? Or could I infer from that, that I am living "the life"?

I was asked if I can build a time machine to allow my friend to use it. To go back in time, to change things that could have been. If i really do have the power, money and intelligence to make such a machine, and let characters of people don't change across a different dimension, that I would actually.... lend my friend my machine, how many times does he/she has to use it before he/she can be fully satisfied? Honestly, I don't think that can be magnitude of a finite number.

What I am trying to say is that: Man has greed. *woman too btw Joel, if you are going to debate with me what "man" actually means* Everyone has a part of life which they aren't happy with and try to change it. I am exhibit A and I want to change my life desperately. Not knowing where to start.

Having my thought spin in circles like this, many of the things I learnt when I was younger resurface. All things under the sun are dung and will one day pass away, all are vanity of vanities. If I try to uplift myself, it will only benefit myself and will be count as loss. If I live my life to glorify God, things will be different. Be salty, because what use is there for salt if it had lost its saltiness. We are here to make an impact. To serve and to love, because it is the most powerful tool one can have. To love. :)

My prayer: Lord, please remind me again and again to humble myself, and to give you the glory, because you alone are worthy. Teach me to be grateful with what I have because you have planned and prepared all that I have. Thank you for the beautiful family you have placed me into and thank you for all the hurt and happiness that I had gone through with you every step of the way. Lord, I want to consecrate myself again to you. Please keep my heart, set me as a seal upon your heart. Make known to me what you have in store for me and show me Lord, what I should do in every situation. Guide me, so that I will not run astray. Set me on the path of righteousness and living in your house all the days of my life. Lord, I love you, teach me to count my days.

Max, my baby.

So, it is the time of the year again, start of a new semester, beginning of the endless assignments and readings. But honestly, if you asked me to choose again, i would still choose to go through uni, because this is when i'm given another chance to make friends, grow up and learn to be independent. So, if you read my previous post, i left it at something going to happen last Saturday. What could that be? :O I stay in a South-East suburb in Melbourne. Takes an hour to get to the city from the closest train station, and 15 minutes drive to get to the closest train station from home and another 15 from station to uni. That is my uni life. But at least now i can drive myself to the station. :O WHAT? ESTHER GOT HERSELF A CAR? Yes, that is what I did last Saturday. I went and look for cars, and on Tuesday 26/7/2011, Max officially became my baby. Unfortunately, i do not have a picture of max right now, but i'll try in the next post, to introduce you fellow readers to max my baby alright? :)Transferring him under my name.
Dealing with the insurance. Okay, big news out of the way, now we have what is going on with Esther's life?

Kaelyn and Pris was discharged from the hospital on Thursday last week. Yes, last week. We got to let Einstein be nice to her, so.. sniff sniff sniff. Settle down.. WIN! :) Baby cry lots, but when Esther yiyi is asleep. I am so sorry, i can't hear u Kaelyn. Mmm, as y'all already heard, it is start of semester, this the first week. Timetable for me was a mess. I got to go version 2.0, 2.1, 2.2 only then i got my timetable finally sorted! 0.0 It was soooo troublesome with the allocate system. But now, it is all good and my timetable is just down below. :D If you can't see properly, i am doing 2 chem subject, 1 bio and 1 biochem. For the first time in uni, i have a purely science subject semester. Lord, help me please, your grace is sufficient! For some reason, my picture came out sideways. But this here is my timetable.

I saw this somewhere this past week. "If it isn't happy, it isn't the ending." How cool is that! Sit back, think about that for a moment. How wonderful is that saying. Heh!

So i was reading song of songs, this repeated many times. "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Life lesson straight from the bible here people, take heed!

Last saying before i move on to random pictures. :P "Friendship are gifts." We should treasure every one of them. If you are curious about how friendship changes life or how it can help you in sticky situation, click here. I trust you will click and read the whole passage, cause it is, as Sheldon would say, according to the friendship algorithm, an obligation that friends help each other in times of need. Well, this isn't exactly a time of need, but if you do click that and read it, i would very much appreciate it. :D

Moving on to the random pictures! :D

Saw Simon Baker and Blake Lively (Serena in GG) in train!! :P
Jacoons in Zara. Just for the fun of it! :D Oh, Zara here is over-rated. Malaysia had Zara for a few years already, this is the first Zara in the whole of Australia.
Happy Birthday Joel!
Esther's first time cooking an actual meal! Ginger chicken with veg. :)
Of course, it always ends with a picture with yours truly. Notice the corner of my eye! I tried on something new! :P

Horror of being last minute.

People, I am having a interview tomorrow. Pray hard for me. Thanks. Company name Bio21 Cluster if you are interested to know more. :)
It is 12:11pm here now but I told myself that i will definitely blog today, so here am i! I need to convey a few very important messages before I sleep.

1. Hillsong one night conference. IT WAS AWESOME. Mainly revolving around the verse John 16:33 In this life we will face problems, but TAKE HEART, for He has overcome the world. Isn't that just awesome? In him, there is nothing we could not overcome. Our God is stronger, higher, greater than any other.!

2. In the conference, I made a promise to myself. I have wasted TOO much time, stalking, hurting, crying, wondering the "what-ifs", but it is over now. I promise to not stalk anymore, starting May 17, because, God, all I need is You. :) *Unfortunately, embed still doesn't work*

That is it, Hillsong conference had made me see clear. Broken hearted? Take heart! Wanting to give up? Press on! Tired of life? Come to Jesus, he will give you rest.

Driving License

Since my testimony book is mainly for my testimony, and i don’t wish for people to hear me bitch, cause i know its not exactly fun to do so, diary, you’re the best. :)

I have “P” license in Malaysia, but i can only drive with that for the first 3 months i am here, which is long gone. So now, I am to take a few lessons, hopefully just a couple will be enough, then sit for the driving test. And HOPEFULLY, once is enough for me to pass then i don’t have to trouble anyone to fetch me to where i like to be – the church.

Reason i like to be in church is because i feel clean in there, safe, peace, clean. Like i have separated that time of my life to be holy and clean, spiritually, mentally, soul-ly.

So, all this time, 4 different people have been taking up this heavy job of driving me from A to B. There is N, who stay half an hour away from my home and 15 from church. 0.0 But, she still say it is okay for her to drive me, after finding that out, am i still human if i asked for her to drive me home? There is B, whom i think has a girlfriend and just got steady. I did not understand why but a girl in church gave me a deathly stare the first time i saw her. Now i know, i assume, that is the girlfriend, i guess cause her boyfriend has been busy driving the new girl home? I assume this basing my theory upon what i saw earlier: he has his hands on her waist. Hmm.. enough proof i guess? There is R, who has a girlfriend too, but he seems so nice, and i feel awful to have him drive me. The fact that he sometimes, talk about jokes that i should feel bad, almost always makes me feel bad, makes me feel awful when he drive me. And lastly, there is my sister and brother-in-law, since they’re married, they’re 1 entity. Considering the don’t have to let me stay with them, but they took me in, cook for me, make sure i feel alright, teach me, guide me in life, when they are not my parents, I feel i ought not to burden them anymore.

Bottom line being, I can’t fail this. I need strength, I know my driving is not very good, but I have to do this, and do it right. It is terrible, the feeling of depending on other people. I want to be INDEPENDENT! That is 1 of the reason, I wanna be independent, also, I don’t have the money. That is why i hope 1 test and couple of lessons will be enough, please in fact, be that why, for I am poor. You know that I am looking onto you when i type this out. You, God, be my strength and make me a way.

*message to anyone applicable: If you can’t think of nice things to say, don’t say anything, just don’t bother picking up the call, cause tongue is actually a very sharp weapon.*

Just to show that I AM HAPPY!

But you know what, whatever happens, I know I have God. I want to have faith in Him, believe in Him. =)

cheers~